It's Explody in here!

The Thing About Mormons Being Christian

2011-10-11T17:56:00.000-07:00

We’ve all heard about the comments made by Robert Jeffress - labeling Mormonism as a cult and as not being in line with “Historical Christianity”. By saying this, I feel that Jeffress is acknowledging one part of history and ignoring several others.

I have heard three basic arguments for why Mormons are not Christians. Two of them are based in ignorance and one has some merit, but creates the historical problem that I feel Jeffress has.
#1 Mormons don’t believe in Jesus at all. Any Mormon will tell you that Jesus is the Son of God and Savior. This argument is clearly false.

#2 Mormons worship a different Jesus than other Christians. This doesn’t really make sense and it makes me think of the praying-to-baby-Jesus argument from Talladega Nights.
Christ is Christ.

#3 Mormons are not Christians because they don’t believe in the Trinity. This point has validity. Mormons reject the 3-in-1 concept for a “Godhead” in which Father, Son and Holy Ghost are three separate beings that function as one God. Since belief in the Trinity is considered one of the defining characteristics of Christianity, the argument can be made that Mormons are not Christian. (I’m assuming that’s what Jeffress means by “Historical Christianity”.)

Here’s my problem with that: This definition of Christians as Trinity worshipers was solidified during the First Council of Nicea (AD 325). The issue came up because of debates about Arianism (named for the Egyptian presbyter Arius and completely unrelated to Aryans, who are racist bastards) One of the core beliefs of Arianism was that if Jesus was begotten by the Father, then the Father existed before Jesus and they cannot be the same being. They also believed that the Father created the Holy Ghost through Jesus and that it was subservient to both of them.

So what’s the problem? Arianism was heresy and the council crushed it. No big deal, right? Well, my question is why did they crush it? There is a lot of history to show that the church in Rome was less concerned about spirituality than they were about consolidating their power through politics. This was certainly the case with Arianism. Arians were all over Egypt and, at the time, Egypt was where the world went to be educated. Arians were enjoying a huge amount of influence because of this. Influence that threatened the supremacy of the church in Rome. This wasn’t the first time a council had done this. The Gnostics had been condemned just 40 years earlier.

Seems to me that “Historical Christianty” is somewhat based on a series of power grabs. This is not to say that everything about Christianity is terrible and wrong, I just don’t think it’s completely authoritative.

My point: People should be able to believe whatever the crap they want. 1700 year old Bishops are not the boss of me.

My other point: Labeling confessed Christians as non-Christian for political gain seems a bit un-Christian.

How I won the office March Madness Pool

2011-03-22T09:10:00.000-07:00

When a co-worker approached me with a bracket to fill out for the office contest, I said, "You do realize that I probably haven't watched an entire basketball game in this century, right?" He said that was fine, all I had to do was pick the losers because we were playing low ball. Then someone else mentioned that Obama always filled out a bracket. So, I went online I did the opposite of Obama's picks. Thanks Mr. President.

Here's a fake press release written by Andy, one of our media people:

JOE MARLEY'S DEFT TACTICS LEAD TO CRUSHING NCAA LOWBALL POOL WIN!

Marley, showing true geniushood, guts rivals;
Destroys the Competition in First and Best Ever NCAA Lowball Competition

POCATELLO – Joe Marley knows how to pick losers and he'll be rewarded for his efforts: the picking prodigy only had one wrong pick in the MARCOM 2011 Low-Ball NCAA Bball Guestfest Extravaganza.

His pick of losers included only one errant lob: he incorrectly predicted UCLA would lose its first game. Besides that, he was perfect. He earned $1.25 first-place prize.

His competition, however, was a bit further off. Rounding out the competition were:

Joey G. and Heidi B., tied for second with seven;

Andy T. and Kaye B., tied for fourth with nine;

Carl J. and Alex J. , tied for sixth with 11; and

Emily F., eighth, with 15 and counting.

"Bow before me and quake in awe in my presence now," Marley said of his stunning victory.

I'm a Liberal. I'm a Mormon.

2010-11-09T08:31:00.000-08:00

It's true. I am a Mormon Liberal. A lot of other Mormons view this as an oxymoron and a few have asked how it works for me to be both. I have two answers for them:

1. Sometimes my Mormon-ness makes me a liberal

2. Others times it's just that I don't understand conservative thought

Then they say, "Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do." (Not really, they're never that funny. They're usually concerned for my soul and don't have time for jokes.)

#1 I often feel that the views of Conservative Mormons contradict my understanding of scripture.

-Conservative Mormon says, "Socialism is more evil than crushing kittens!"

I have noticed that conservative Mormons often confuse socialism with dystopian sci-fi novels. For the record, socialism is:

a theory or system of social organization that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the community as a whole.

Such a society was described in the book of Fourth Nephi:
And they had all things common among them; therefore there were not rich and poor, bond and free, but they were all made free, and partakers of the heavenly gift. 4 Nephi 3

All things were communal, there was no distinction between rich and poor. Sounds like...I dunno...socialism. Actually, hard core socialism. Apparently it's a heavenly gift.

Early members of the church tried to do something similar called the Law of Consecration, a system wherein property became communal and was redistributed as best suited the community. It is argued that this law is not at all like socialism because socialism was invented by the devil so he could control people and the Law of Consecration was based on love. I am surprised people say this because all it does is prove that members of the church don't love each other. The Law of Consecration failed. It failed because people are selfish and greedy. The problem is not that socialism is evil, we are too evil for socialism.

The Christian Socialist, George Lansbury said,
"Socialism which means love, cooperation and brotherhood in every department of human affairs, is the only outward expression of a Christian's faith. I am firmly convinced that whether they know it or not, all who approve and accept competition and struggle against each other as the means whereby we gain our daily bread, do indeed betray and make of no effect the "will of God."
Maybe a bit extreme, but I think he's on to something.

-Conservative Mormon says, "Capitalism is the Lord's way! Hooray money!"

I sincerely doubt it. The goal of Capitalism is to earn money. The more money you make the more successful you are. While capitalism has its merits, it is a system that fosters greed and materialism. The scriptures say, "For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows." 1 Timothy 6:10. Jesus said, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."

If we were to ask James and Jesus about these statements they wouldn't say, "Oh, that? I was just talking." I'm sure they meant what they said. People can do terrible things to each other in the pursuit of money and possessions. It can easily consume a person and make them turn against others. You may be thinking, "Well, I don't exploit other people just so I can have things." We've all heard the jokes about kids in sweat shops making our clothes. Odds are, someone is being exploited because of the things you own.

-Conservative Mormon says, "Welfare is the Devil's allowance and I would never accept it in any form!"

Some people are in difficult situations, they need food stamps, they need money to get by. People do abuse it, but people also use it as it was intended to be used. I am willing to pay for the abusers because I know for a fact it helps people.

Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just--But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God. Mosiah 4:17-18

I would also point out that you have probably been the recipient of welfare. If you have ever received a pell grant, accepted WIC when you were a starving student with a child, had your children on free or reduced price lunch, or driven on a public road (because in Idaho our roads are largely paid for by the Feds, because we can't afford them), then you have received welfare.
If you don't need welfare, good for you. Some people genuinely need it. Don't act like you are better than them. Your farts stink, too.

#2 The stuff I just don't get

-Conservative Mormon says, "Don't ever vote for a pro-choice, baby killing candidate!"

Deciding who governs you based on one issue seems unwise. How does abortion affect your life- Have you ever had one? Do you plan to have or fund one? I think most Mormons will answer no to those questions, and if that's the case why are you so concerned about it? Changing the laws on abortion will have little effect on you. I understand that it is offensive-I personally don't think abortion should be used as birth control, but I'm not willing to completely dismiss a candidate just because they disagree with me on an issue that won't change my life. I can't overturn a Supreme Court ruling, but I can vote about issues like poverty, education and government services.

-Conservative Mormon says, "If we let the gays marry, society will collapse into a puddle of sin and rainbows!"

Both the Old and New Testaments have scriptures condemning homosexuality. But I have a secret for you. I don't care if gays get married. If voters approve it, fine. If they don't, fine. According to religious belief, their sin is that they have sex. They're going to do that whether they can marry or not.
It is argued that gay marriage will 'blasphemically' desecrate marriage. My problem with that is marriage offers legal benefits that I think gay couples should have. I feel the government should be in the business of granting rights to its citizens, not preventing citizens from gaining rights. Perhaps it's time the government got out of the marriage business. Let them give civil unions to whoever wants them. If you want to get married, go to a church.

I have reasons for being a liberal. I'm not doing it to be contrary, I don't have a devil in me, it's just how I see things.

Hiking to the top of Old Tom

2010-07-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes my Dad gets crazy ideas. They vary in the quality and quantity of crazy. Last year he ran a marathon. I rank this as super crazy. A few weeks ago he asked if I wanted to hike to the top of Old Tom with him. This wasn't all that crazy and I thought it would be a nice summer adventure.

It started off not so much as an adventure, but as a really confusing drive along the side of the mountain. We had no idea where we were going and it showed. Luckily we ran into a farmer who told us how to reach the bottom of the trail-kind of-we weren't really sure what he said, but we figured it out. He said we could drive up the mountatin pretty far and that would make the hike easier. That would have been true if I didn't drive a Honda Fit. (Note to self: buy a giant truck one day, after a cheap gas alternative is invented) When your car is six inches off the ground it makes rocks, holes and giant puddles seem like a bigger obstacle than they should be. I eventually had to pullover and park because I thought we were going to drown.

That was when the hiking began. At first it was a normal hike up a mountain road. Then we hit the real trail.

There were no switchbacks, the trail just went straight up the mountain. It's a very exhausting way to go. We had to rest frequently on the way up, which I think made us feel embarrassed and sissy-like because many comments like, "I swear I go to the gym, I'm not that out of shape." were frequently said.

However, the exhausting climb was worth it when we reached the top and got an amazing view of several cities and valleys.

Arimo, Robin and Downey

McCammon

The American Falls Resevoir

The marker placed by the US Geological Survey, proving that we actually reached the top. These are useful because there were several times we thought we had reached to top only to notice another portion of the mountain was higher

In a pile of rocks at the summit, there was an old book wrapped in plastic in which visitors had written messages. It dated back to the 1940's and had a lot of interesting things in it.

Happy Saint David's Day - Dydd Dewi Sant Hapus

2010-03-03T20:17:00.000-08:00

I seem to have two themes on this blog. One is food. The other is Welshiness. I guess there is a third theme-stuff that happens. So, I guess this blog is about whatever I want. This blog post will be awesome because it combines the the first two - food and Welshiness, Foolshiness?
St. David (Dewi Sant) died on March 1, 588? He was most known during his life for founding a Celtic monastic community at Glyn Rhosin. He was also the patron saint of Wales during their resistance against the Normans (around 1066). St David's Day is a big deal in Wales. It's a national holiday. Men wear leeks, women wear daffodils, children sing and put on plays, fountain water is dyed red. Also, people eat things. That's my favorite part.

In David's monastery, monks could only eat bread with salt & herbs and could only drink water. Meat and beer were strictly forbidden. I decided I wasn't doing that. Instead I made a bunch of food and invited a bunch of family to partake.

Cawl Cennin (leek soup)
I made this last year and a few times since them. It's a simple kind of tasty.

Swper Mam (Mom's supper)
So simple, so brilliant. There are three ingredients: bacon, cheese and onion. They are put in layers and baked. I highly recommend it.

Wyau ynys mon (Anglesey Eggs)
It's kind of like funeral potatoes meets potato salad. A mixture of mashed potatoes and leeks is placed in the bottom of the pan.

The potatoes are topped with hard boiled eggs.

The eggs are topped with a cheese sauce and cheese and then baked.

Picau ar y maen (Welsh cakes)
I really hate making things that require the rolling of dough, but these were pretty good. the dough is rolled out and cut like a sugar cookie, but cooked like a pancake. Currants give it a nice tangy flavor.

Statehouse re-dedication

2010-01-21T21:16:00.000-08:00

Over the last few years, Idaho's capital building was being renovated and remodeled. During this time, the Legislature convened in the Ada County Courthouse. The Court house is remarkable because it reminds of the creepy building from Ghostbusters. I would not be surprised if some Babylonian God came out of it one night to bring doom upon the inhabitants of Boise.

The renovation was finished earlier this month and since Dad was in the Legislature all those years, he got invitations to the re-dedication. I hadn't been to Boise in a while and decided to endure the drive to see the remodel.

They had a pretty nice ceremony. There was a premiere of a piece for band and choir called "Under Eternal Sky" by Dr. Paul Aitken. I am always in support of new music and thought this piece fit the occasion very well. Dr. Aitken did a good job of making the music seem modern without being weird. A good choice, because while I like funky 20th century music, most people don't. There were also some speakers. I wasn’t really paying attention to them. They probably said some things.

I was impressed with the work that was done. A lot of excellent craftsmanship was put into the remodel.

The Governor C.L. 'Butch' Otter, I like to imagine the C.L. stands for Carlheinz Leslie

This reception area used to be some offices (my dad's office was here), this is a return to the original design

One sad loss was the replacement of a pepto-bismal colored elevator, with a newer, more stylish model. The old pink elevator was so absurd and out of place, it made me smile every time I saw it. You will be missed, ridiculous elevator.

Fruitcake can be tasty

2010-01-06T20:44:00.000-08:00

I'm sure when you read the word fruitcake, you made 'that face'. The face that says, "Ewww, fruitcake is gross. I would rather eat dog food." I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be that way. One day, years ago, I was eating fruitcake and I said to myself,"Hmmm, fruitcake would be good were it not for the disgusting candied fruit."
In order to save fruitcake I did some looking into recipes and methods of fruitcake productionology. I have created a fruitcake that is highly edible and tasty. This is based largely on Alton Brown's recipe.

First, you need real fruit...and liquor.

The liquored fruit must be spiced and sugared

The sugared spicy liquor fruit is then doughified

When removed from the oven the cake is liquored up once again. I spritz it with brandy every few days and keep it wrapped up so it can absorb the boozy flavor. It's a good idea to let it sit because fresh brandy tastes like Listerine.

It's extra tasty and ultra Christmasy. Eat it, sissy.
Here's the recipe:

Edible fruitcake

1 cup golden raisins
1 cup dried cranberries
3/4 cup dried blueberries
1 cup sun dried cherries
1/2 cup dried apricots, chopped
Zest of one lemon, chopped coarsely
Zest of one orange, chopped coarsely
1 cup gold rum

1 cup sugar
5 ounces unsalted butter (1 1/4 sticks)
1 cup unfiltered apple juice
¼ heaping tsp ground cloves
¼ heaping tsp ground allspice
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger

1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 eggs
1 cup toasted pecans, broken
Brandy for basting and/or spritzing

Combine dried fruits and both zests. Add rum and macerate overnight, or microwave for 5 minutes to re-hydrate fruit - this method will make awesome rum steam.
Place fruit and liquid in a non-reactive pot with the sugar, butter, apple juice and spices. Bring mixture to a boil stirring often, then reduce heat and simmer for 5 to 10 minutes. Remove from heat and cool for at least 15 minutes.
Heat oven to 325 degrees.
Combine dry ingredients and sift into fruit mixture. Quickly bring batter together with a large wooden spoon, then stir in eggs one at a time until completely integrated, then fold in nuts. Spoon into a 10-inch non-stick loaf pan and bake for 1 hour. Check if it's done by inserting toothpick into the middle of the cake. If it comes out clean, it's done. If not, bake another 10 minutes, and check again.
Remove cake from oven and place on cooling rack or trivet. Baste or spritz top with brandy and allow to cool completely before turning out from pan.
When cake is completely cooled, seal in a tight sealing, food safe container. Every 2 to 3 days, feel the cake and if dry, spritz with brandy.

Homecoming 2009

2009-10-20T21:46:00.000-07:00

This year I was invited to sing at the Alumni Concert for ISU's Homecoming. This is the first time the Alumni have hosted a concert and I thought it was a good idea. I was told that there were several people who thought Homecoming should be more and a game, a bonfire and making out on the top of Red Hill. You read right, we have a lip orgy on Red Hill, we're basically Rome. This concert, and an art unveiling, made for a more classy homecoming than usual. In these situations, it's best to pic music that people will like. I tend to hate music that people like. So I tried to find common ground. I ended up doing a solo and a duet. The solo was 'Silent Noon' by Ralph Vaughn Williams. It is an art song, but one that most people can enjoy (I even got a standing ovation from a nice old lady who wasn't even my Grandma). The duet was a recycled song I did earlier with Allyson Johnson. It's catchy and everyone likes it.

I Heart Halloween

2009-10-07T19:45:00.000-07:00

There are several things from my childhood that I never outgrew. Whenever I'm with little kids I make them play with legos or play doh because I want to play with legos and play doh, but need an excuse to make it socially acceptable.

The most prominent leftover from my younger years is my love of Halloween. Even now, I start thinking about it in early September. I love how everything is spooky and creepy. I love carving pumpkins, reading ghost stories and watching scary movies. I'm not much for dressing up, but every few years I come up with a good costume.

Halloween enjoyment was instilled in me by my Mom. Under her supervision, I began watching horror movies when I was 10. Some of my fondest Halloween memories are of helping her decorate the house, carving pumpkins, and decorating spooky cookies.

These are activities I still enjoy, but as an adult, I have a rather snooty and discriminating taste about how I enjoy them. One thing is for sure: I hate cutesy Halloween stuff. I think Halloween paraphernalia should either be genuinely creepy or vintage. I don't own cute little ghosts that carry trick-or-treat baskets. I don't have an 'adorable' ceramic tarantula with a smiley face that plays the Alfred Hitchcock theme when you press on its thorax (Sorry Mom, I don't want that when you die). The problem: snooty is hard to come by and expensive. Earlier this summer I was looking around on line and discovered old school fireplace screens. I had never seen them before, but they were awesome. Even though they cost way, way, way too much, I decided I was going to buy one. So I did.

Dad Runs a Marathon

2009-09-05T19:39:00.000-07:00

My Dad has always wanted to run a marathon. It's something that I will never understand. I know a lot of people that really want to run one at some point in their life. Maybe I could do it if a bear were chasing me, but I think a bear would give up after a few miles. People say they want to do it to prove to themselves that they can. If I can force myself to go to work everyday, I don't need to prove to myself that I can do things.
Back to my Dad running a marathon, he decided that since he turned 61 this year, it was now or never. He trained very diligently for several months before that race. When I was a youngin' I thought that 60 year-olds were ancient and wouldn't be capable of running at all. He told me a few times that he was ridiculously sore and in quite a bit of pain, but he kept going.
Everyone in the family was really impressed that he was running a marathon and we all waited at the finish line to see him come in. His time was 5:31:31! He wasn't thrilled by that, but it would take me about 6 weeks to run that far. Good job, Dad.

Fireworks Explodoganza

2009-07-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

Each year around the 4th of July, Tonda Cody, a friend of the family, has an over-the-top firework explodoganza. These are not your run of the mill fireworks. She goes out of her way to find the extra fancy kind of fireworks that were probably an ancient Chinese secret at some point. I don't want to guess what she spends on them, definitely more than $1.50. Don't think it's just an informal get together where people go out on the driveway and randomly light fireworks. Oh no, she has an "altar" in the back yard on which the fireworks are lit. Programs are distributed telling visitors what fireworks they will be seeing. The whole affair is set to patriotic music. It's kind of a big freakin' deal.

The party should also be noted for it's diversity in an undiverse place, Tonda's husband, children and in-laws are black. Yeah, there are black people in Idaho, Tonda's in-laws. When this party happens it is quite possibly the most racially diverse gathering in the state.

Lovliest of Trees

2009-05-17T21:14:00.000-07:00

I went outside to do some yard work and saw the fruit trees were blossoming. I thoroughly enjoy the blossoming of trees each year. This year it made me feel poetic. So poetic I thought about one of my favorite A E Housman poems:

Loveliest of trees, the cherry now
Is hung with bloom along the bough,
And stands about the woodland ride
Wearing white for Eastertide.

Now, of my threescore years and ten,
Twenty will not come again,
And take from seventy springs a score,
It only leaves me fifty more.

And since to look at things in bloom
Fifty springs are little room,
About the woodlands I will go
To see the cherry hung with snow.

Cinco de Mayo

2009-05-06T20:50:00.000-07:00

I really love Mexican food. I also love eating it. So I decided that we needed to have a Cinco de Mayo potluck at work. I decided a make-your-own-burrito-bar would be more El Fantastico than any Mexican Soap Opera could ever hope to be (and it was). I had always wanted to have a Cinco de Mayo party, but May 5th is my Mom's birthday, so as a child we celebrated her natal day instead. (Way to ruin everything, Mom.)
One of the photographers in my office has a bazillion decorations, so she came with all of her Mexican stuff. It was way more fun than working.

Laird (one of my many co-workers) knows how to rock a sombrero.

'El Gostoso Black Beans'

2 tbsp Olive oil
2 cloves garlic, pressed or minced
1 can pinto or black beans (15 oz), drained
1 tsp ground cumin

Just el cook them. Sometimes I leave out the cumin, because black beans are that good.

Blockflöten Hooray!

2009-03-12T20:27:00.000-07:00

For several years I've wanted to purchase a set of recorders. Some people say recorders are just for third graders and they sound terrible. Those people are living in ignorance. A recorder is not a toy, it's a musical instrument.
The set I purchased has a Sopranino (dog whistle), Soprano (the kind used by third graders), Alto (The kind professionals play) and a tenor (the mellow version of what the third graders have).
You may ask why I would spend money on such a silly thing. If you are asking that, you don't know me very well. I'm the kind of person who thinks playing the guitar is lame but playing the lute is unbelievably awesome.

This is why recorders are awesone.

St Davids Day in Boise

2009-03-02T16:38:00.000-08:00

I went up to Boise over to the weekend to visit my parents. My mom just had her knee re-replaced. It's as complicated as it sounds. Her first knee replacement caused a lot of problems and left her worse off than when her natural knee was causing problems. While she was in the hospital, my dad got really sick with some hideous, monster cold. He was out of it for days. So I went up to take care of my old, sick parents. (They're really not old enough for me to be doing that.)
So the visit wasn't incredibly exciting. I mostly stayed at their house doing whatever they told me to do. (They're so freaking bossy) I decided that since March 1st was St. Davids Day, he's the Patron Saint of Wales, that I would make some traditional welsh food as part of my quest to force welshiness on other people. I made leek potato soup and lamb chops. I had never eaten either. When I went to buy the lamb I discovered why. It's ridiculously expensive.

It turned out to be quite tasty. I'll definitely be making more leek soup in the future. Lamb will probably be eaten sparingly.

Leeks are strange looking, but extra tasty.

Leek Soup - Cawl Cennin

1 oz Butter
6 leeks, washed trimmed and cut into 1 inch pieces
3 potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 to 1.5 pints chicken broth
1 to 1.5 pints whole milk
Salt and pepper

Melt the butter in a saucepan and sweat the vegetables until soft. Add broth bring to a boil and simmer covered for 30 minutes. Add milk and heat - do not allow to boil.
I bet if you added bacon it would be extra tasty.

I went to Barnes and Noble on Saturday. When I told my Mom I was going, she asked me to buy Watchmen for her. That's right, my Mom owns a graphic novel. I think that makes her hipper than me since I don't own one.

I'm a Famous Singer

2009-02-15T17:05:00.000-08:00

On Thursday, I sang at ISU's donor recognition dinner. It's basically a fancy dinner party with people who gave the University a crapload of money during the year. They always get people to sing and play piano. It's mostly music the majority of people could enjoy, nothing artsy or intellectual. This year I sang a duet with Allyson Johnson. We went through the music program at the same time and now we both work for the university. We sang a duet at a friend's wedding years ago, so it was fun to sing together again. We sang Let's Call the Whole Thing Off by Gerschwin. (That's the I say potato, you say potahto song) Fun times.

We looked really pissed off, huh?

Holy Crap. I'm 30.

2009-02-04T15:35:00.000-08:00

Turning 30 was actually less traumatic than I thought it would be. Six months ago, I realized the day was coming soon. I went into a bit of a panic. 30 is one of those milestone numbers. I always thought that when I was 30 I would feel like an adult. I don't. Not at all.
On pretty much every birthday I have, I get the feeling that I'm another year older and still haven't done anything with my life. I really didn't want that to happen this time and wondered if there were a way to get around it. I thought maybe I could do something to make me feel good about myself instead. That's when I wrote the I should be not fat entry. Well, guess how much weight I lost. Zero. That made me feel good about myself.
I suppose what I realized is that age is just a number and that I should be happy with whatever I can accomplish in my life. After all, who am I comparing myself to? Exactly, to a bunch of people who are also losers in their own way. I hear people say that happiness is not based on external conditions, but it is a state of mind. I shouldn't let the fact that I'm a fat old maid with no life get me down. I might as well be happy about who I am.
In conclusion:
Up yours 30.

Happy New Year and Blwyddyn Newydd Dda

2009-01-01T16:20:00.000-08:00

This year I had very little planned for New Year's Day. It's mostly because I'm boring. As part of my goal to learn a bunch of Welsh this year, I thought I would partake in the old Welsh tradition of making a Calennig on New Years day.
Here's how you make it:
1. Get an apple and stick cloves on it in a decorative pattern of some sort.

2. Get 3 sticks (I use kabob sticks) and turn the apple into a tripod. Then cram a piece of shubbery into the top of the apple.

3. Place on your window sill. The calennig will bring you good luck and you should keep on the window sill until you can't stand looking at how rotten it is. My guess is about six weeks, unless you're hard core then you should keep it until the 4th of July.

In Ye Olde Times you would make several calennigs in the morning and give them to visitors who have come to give you New Year's wishes. I'm too lazy for that so I just made one.

Fourth Advent & Solstice

2008-12-21T20:10:00.000-08:00

Today is a super double Yuletide holiday as it is both the last Advent and Winter Solstice. Today the last purple candle should be lit. The last candle is the shepherd candle.

The scripture:
Luke 2: 8-15
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.

Sing While Shepherd Watched Their Flocks by Night

Solstice
The shortest day of the year was an important holiday for many pagans and pagans are fun. Solstice is the day for drinking wassail. It is also customary to give a portion of the wassail to any fruit trees or other plants that you would like to thrive in the coming year. Pour it on the ground and the base of the plant. This makes them magically fertile. The focus of the day should be the darkness and awareness that more light and warmth are on the way. To remind myself of this I did not use electric lights, but relied on puny candle light. It's nerdy, but it was kind of fun and old-fashiony.

Third Advent

2008-12-14T21:22:00.000-08:00

Today is the day you light the rose colored candle. Most people use a pink candle for the rose candle. We all know that roses are red, so I use a red candle. I refer to the rose candle as the Virgin Mary candle. I do this because whenever you see uber Catholic paintings of Mary there are roses coming out of her fiery heart.
By the liturgical calendar, today is Gaudete Sunday. (Gaudete is Latin for rejoice) So, rejoice and stuff.

Here's the scripture:
Luke 1:26-35
And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,
To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.
And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.
And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.
And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.
And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.
the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:
And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.
Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?
And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God

Sing this one:
The Angel Gabriel

I also watched one of my most favorite movies: A Christmas Story. It always makes me feel Christmasy and I find it to be geniously hilarious.

After the film, I went to a Messiah Sing-in. I have a lot of mixed feelings about Sing-ins. I think the 'Messiah' is one of Western Civilization's masterpieces. I think that's why I have a hard with a bunch of people who don't really know the music trying to sing it. Much of the genius is ruined when people who are not classically trained try to perform it. It's like going to see Hamlet in a church basement. I go to sing-ins anyway. It's never good, but it's usually fun.

Second Advent

2008-12-07T20:44:00.000-08:00

It’s time to light the second purple candle. Seriously, do it now!!!!

The second candle is the Bethlehem/Manger candle, so try this out:

Luke 2:6-7

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

(I’m keeping these readings short because I know how bored you get.)

Sing “O Little Town of Bethlehem”. But sing the British version, the melody is much nicer.

I also watched my collection of Simpson’s Christmas Episodes. Not traditional, but definitely worth the time.

First Advent

2008-11-30T20:34:00.000-08:00

This year I discovered that I am the Christmas Police. Everywhere I look, people are celebrating Christmas wrong. I saw Christmas Trees and lights on houses in the middle of November. People seem to have forgotten when Christmas begins and I’m putting the smack down on them.

The Yuletide season begins 4 Sundays before Christmas (or the Sunday after the feast of St. Andrew). This is according to the liturgical calendar. I contend that if Christians are going to pretend Christmas is a Christian holiday, then I’m going to use their calendar to determine the beginning of Christmas. This year it begins today, November 30^th.

I celebrate First Advent by putting up the tree and other decorations. I also light the first purple candle on my Advent Wreath. Many of you may not use Advent Wreaths, you're celebrating wrong.

Here’s what you need for a wreath:
3 purple candles
1 rose colored candle
1 white candle
Something to hold them
Greenery of some kind

The first candle is the prophecy candle. It would be appropriate to read Isaiah 7:14, “Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.”

You can also sing the beloved carol, “O Come, O Come Emmanuel”

Get a pdf

I also drank some Julmust that I found at IKEA. It’s some Swedish Christmas beverage. It tastes kind of like Coke, but less acidic.

I am the Pope

2008-11-19T17:48:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in the last post, I was the Pope for Halloween. I have actually wanted to be the Pope for quite a while, but never did. I ordered a costume, but it was to short and wasn't all that fancy. My friend, Rusty, who is kind of obsessed with making awesome Halloween costumes said she would lengthen it. Then she decided she would redo it just for fun and that is why it's so freaking awesome.
There are advantages to working in an office with professional photographers. Groovy professional quality photos of me in a Pope costume is one of them.

Full Costume

Exorting Pope

Stern Pope

Basketball pose Pope

Studious Pope

Praying the Rosary Pope

Posing Pope

GQ Pope

Cute Pope

The reason I’m going to hell

Halloween of Spooky Doom

2008-11-02T14:09:00.000-08:00

Halloween is my second favorite holiday. I like the spookiness and candy and especially pumpkin carving. I'm a bit obsessive about pumpkin carving and it's not uncommon for me to carve 4 or 5 during the month of October. This year I only made 3, I was lazy.

Spooky pirate ship with a fancy light I bought.

Scary belfry with bats and stuff.

OK, it's supposed to be Obama's logo. The pumpkin was really hard and I couldn't cut it very well, so it's not as good as I had hoped.

This year was the first time in a long time that I decided to dress up. I decided to go as the Pope. Most people would have more sense than to be the Pope. That's why I'm different than most people.

Here is a sample. I'm hoping to add some fancier pics later.

HighEdWeb 2008

2008-10-12T13:21:00.000-07:00

October 5-8

Every year there is a conference of higher education web professionals (nerds). Since I am now in that category, I went to the conference with my coworker Laird. We got to travel to famous Springfield, Missouri. Alright, it's not famous. I had never heard of Springfield Missouri until I found out I was going to a conference there.

About Missouri
I have only briefly been to Missouri in the past, but it seems to be a pretty nice state. I hear that it is one of the Midwestern states, but I saw a Waffle House while there. I maintain that Waffle House is Southern, and that it's waitresses don't have all their teeth. Even though maps and the majority of Americans think Missouri is midwestern, they are wrong. Missouri should have thought before allowing Waffle House Franchises to turn their state southern.

Missouri State University
The conference was hosted at Missouri State University. The campus is really quite nice. The buildings are a mix of old and modern. Quite different from the 1960's square brick building thing that ISU has going on.

This is the Library. The tower is a carillon.

The Conference
It consisted of presentations and speeches about what's going on in the world of higher ed. websites. Pretty dull if you're not involved in that sort of thing. Occasionally dull if you are.
I learned a number of fancy things that I can use here. There are number of social outings associated with the conference. Most of them involved everyone getting drunk. They had a Guitar Hero contest and an outing to a Discovery Center that were pretty enjoyable.

Here I am at the Discovery Center playing with a freaky gyroscope chair.

I Eat Fancy Japanese Food
One of the highlights of the trip was a dinner I ate at a fancy pants Japanese Restaurant. It was very modern in it's decoration and food. It was also one of the more expensive meals I've eaten.
These pictures aren't the best. The restaurant was a little dark and I didn't want to use the flash and stand out like a tourist.

1. Gyoza

2. Lobster Sushi

3. Black Cod with shitaake mushrooms and a mild wasabi risotto.

4. Tiramisu

Southeastern Idaho State Fair!

2008-09-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

Woot! Good times!
I enjoy going to the fair. There's food, farm animals, worthless crap you can buy and rednecks. Rednecks galore!

This year I went with my friends Chris, Kristen & Andrew and their baby. It was really crowded, there was some terrible Country music concert that night. In spite of the crowds, I had a good time.

Here are the foods I consumed:

Corndog

Turkey Leg

Funnel Cake (I forgot to take a picture of it before I ate it.)

Chris was still hungry so he tried to eat the baby.

Then we looked at the farm animals. They looked delicious. Except for the goats, they have devil eyes.
This cow must have been promiscuous because it was branded a HO.

My Exciting Labor Day Extravaganza!

2008-09-02T18:36:00.000-07:00

This Labor Day I decided to take a trip to Boise. Why Boise? 3 reasons.
1. My Parents just moved there and I wanted to see their house.
2. My friends Dawna and Joe adopted a baby in June and I still hadn't seen him.
3. I bought one of my parents cars and they still had it.

My parents house looks kind of dumpy on the outside, but is nice on the inside. I didn't take any pictures and I should have. It was a fun bonding weekend since I got to assemble furniture with my Dad. Then we all had a meal of crappy Chinese food. Really, it was terrible.

Then we went to Dawna's house and saw Owen. He's pretty cute. Here is a picture of the two of us being cute. (well, Owen is being cute anyway.) For more cutesy Owen stuff, check out his blog
And here is the car I bought.

It's a 2007 Honda Fit and it's pretty fancy. The payments are a bit more than what I want to pay, but that's life. My old car had 190,000 miles and I'm sure it will fall apart soon.

I should be not fat

2008-08-02T18:06:00.000-07:00

I realized yesterday that it was my half birthday. That means in 6 months I'll be 30. It scared the crap out of me. I'll be 30 years old and have nothing to show for it. I thought, "Maybe I could get a life by then." I realized the odds of that would be slim. So I thought about what I could do that would make my birthday less depressing. My doctor has been telling me for more than a year that I should be less fat.

It is my goal to be not fat by February 1st.

This means I will have to lose about 40 pounds. That's probably a lot to lose in 6 months, but I need something to feel good about dang it!

I will post updates on my progress. If I do bad, feel free to leave comments such as:
"Fatty fatty fat fat!"
"You so fat, you fatter than my fat Momma!"
"You are an eyesore. I'm sorry, but someone had to say it"

One of the things that made me think this was a good idea was a picture I saw on my cousin's facebook. It reminded me of those weight loss infomercials where a lady who lost a bunch of weight sees an old picture of herself and begins crying and blubbering about how fat she used to be.

Ok, so before you think I have crazy anorexia body issues, you should realize that I'm kind of sarcastic. But seriously, I'm a fat cow.

Current weight: 240
Body fat: 25%

My Grandpa: not as old as trilobites.

2008-07-24T16:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we commemorated my Grandpa being alive for 85 years. It was a big family shindig. (Shindig is a weird word, digging shins would be incredibly painful.) We all got together and ate way too much food. Then we ate dessert. Dessert at these family gatherings is an event. We always makes sure there are 5 desserts, in case someone doesn't like something. We are fat.

I took a moment to reflect on my Grandpa's life and think about how long 85 years is. He can remember getting electricity in his house as a child. He lived through the depression and fought in WWII. He survived Reaganomics, for corn sakes! He also inadvertently taught me one of my favorite pass-times: purposely mispronouncing words.

Like many elderly people, he says things that are horribly inappropriate. We'll laugh about that later when we stop being mortified. And, like anyone else in the family, he can drive us crazy sometimes, but I hope he sticks around for few more birthdays.

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

The Idaho International Choral Festival

2008-07-21T15:49:00.000-07:00

Singing for joy or screaming in terror?
July 15-20.
I told a committee member I would volunteer to help for this year's choral festival. I've been involved in the past and it was fun hearing choirs from all over the world sing in Pocatello. In late June I got a call saying they wanted me to be chaperon for the high school honor choir. I agreed reluctantly. I remember going on choir trips in high school, I remember that I was obnoxious. I was kind of dreading being a chaperon. I would have to stay in the dorms with them and make sure they don't die, etc.

It was at the end of the phone call that I made up a new rule for myself:
When you volunteer, you need to be more specific.

The day came and I went to meet up with the other chaperons and high school kids. I was not in a good mood about it. After a while, I realized teenagers say and think hilarious things. Not all of them are intentionally hilarious, but I take what I can get.

They were pretty well behaved (I mean, they're nerdy choir kids. They'll probably grow up to nerds just like I did) I learned that I can not only tolerate teenagers, but that they can be enjoyable.

There were some great choirs this year. The Romanian choir was extra magical. I assume this is because a large number of them are vampires and have been singing for hundreds of years.

The Taiwan Children's Choir was especially good. Children in Asian cultures seem to be so much more disciplined than American children. I remember when I taught violin lessons to two Korean kids. Before the first lesson, their Mom said, "If they not listen, spank them." I told her that I would never spank a child because backhanding them is more efficient. At any rate, they were the best students I ever had.

All of the high school boys were in love with the girls from the Lithuanian choir and that amused me. I'm sure the Lithuanians found them cute and slightly creepy, but I'm sure teenage girls feel that way about boys too.

Y Ddraig Goch ddyry gychwyn

2008-06-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

I went to the Malad Welsh Festival. It was Welsh-a-riffic. I figured I should go since I've been trying to learn Welsh. I was a little disappointed in the booths this year. Most of them were just booths with people selling stuff- stuff that didn't really relate to Wales. However, the 'Taste of Whales' booth was awesome and hopefully a joke. There was no whale, but they served some welsh food, which is just a different type of bland English food. Mmmm...bland.

There was a pretty groovy lecture by Ron Dennis, retired professor of Portuguese and Welsh, about the history of the Welsh in Idaho. It seems there were a lot of Welshy Mormons that settled in Idaho and Utah. They also sang a lot, as his wife demonstrated by singing Welsh songs. They sang so much, in fact, that the Mormon Tabernacle Choir began as a choir of Welsh immigrants.

I also learned that the Welsh and Irish have begun wearing Kilts in an attempt to be more celtic. At least that's what they say. I think Celtic men just want to wear skirts, but are afraid of what people will think unless they have an excuse to wear them.

If you have Welsh ancestry and are not afraid of Malad, you should go to the Welsh Festival. Go connect with your heritage and stuff.

Here are some useful phrases for when you go:
Bore da Good morning
Twll dîn pob Sais! Down with the English!
Gad lonydd i fi! Leave me alone!
Galw'r heddlu! Call the police!

I gave in to the Evil

2008-06-22T06:59:00.000-07:00

I caved. I decided to get a blog. It's mostly to keep track of my incredibly exciting life. By exciting I mean boring. I'll talk about my adventures and my brilliantness. That will be interesting for sure. By interesting I mean boring.

I never had a blog before because it just seems too trendy. I'm not trendy and I don't try to be, but I decided a blog could be fun. It may really come in handy if I get a life and someone is actually interested in it. By interested I mean bored.

P.S. Boring.